Welcome to the Roller Coaster
You’ve probably heard the term “neurodivergent” buzzing around lately. It’s a fancy way of saying someone’s brain works differently—autism, ADHD, dyslexia, or some other beautiful variant. And when it comes to teens? Oh, buckle up, buttercup, because the ride gets wild.
As the parent of a neurodivergent teen (and two who have recently reached adulthood), I won’t sugarcoat it: this journey is messy, unpredictable, and sometimes downright exhausting. Imagine the world throwing a curveball every damn day, and your kid learning to swing anyway. 🎢
Neurodivergent teens aren’t broken. The diagnosis? That’s not a sentence—it’s clarity. It’s not about fixing or molding them to “normal” — because guess what? Normal doesn’t exist. When my youngest was diagnosed, I was relieved, vindicated even. It’s about giving them the tools to thrive in a world that wasn’t built for their brain wiring. And that? That’s something to celebrate. 🎉
Radical Acceptance Is Your Superpower
The most badass thing you can do for your teen is accept them—fully, unapologetically, messy, brilliant, awkward stims and all. Real acceptance isn’t about tolerance; it’s about embracing who they are without trying to reshape them into someone else. Which is why we opted out of ABA therapy (but that’s a whole separate blog post).
Sure, it’s tempting to want to fix or “help” in ways the world doesn’t understand. But when you lean into acceptance, your teen starts owning their unique strengths. That’s when the magic happens. ✨
I’ve been there—wishing school was easier or that social stuff didn’t hurt so much. I remember the birthday party with zero guests. 🎂 But when I stopped trying to “fix” and started seeing my kid, their confidence soared. They didn’t need to pretend anymore. They thrived in spaces where they felt safe to be themselves.
Acceptance doesn’t mean no boundaries or expectations. Hell no. It means setting those with love and giving your teen room to be authentically them. That’s when they bloom.
Communicate Without the Interrogation
Talking with neurodivergent teens can feel like decoding an alien language or pulling teeth without novocaine. 🦷 But silence doesn’t mean shutdown.
Pro Tip: Stop rushing to fix or fill the silence. Instead, ask open questions that invite sharing on their terms. But not too open-ended. They’ll look at you like you’ve lost the plot.
Try:
“Hey, I’ve noticed you’re a bit quieter—want to hang out or talk about what’s on your mind?”
Not,
“What’s wrong with you?”
Let them lead. When your teen feels safe to open up in their own time, they’ll surprise you.
Create Sensory-Friendly Havens
Sensory overload is no joke. The world can feel like a relentless assault.
Tip: Build a chill zone at home—noise-canceling headphones, soft lighting, comfy blankets. This isn’t a punishment; it’s a sanctuary. We have a “five-minute warning” in our house if something’s about to happen that will require the use of their headphones, for example.
Encourage them to speak up for their needs, whether at school or with friends. Let them find their voice instead of you doing it for them.
Champion Their Passions
Forget forcing “useful” skills. Fuel what lights their fire. Whether it’s gaming 🎮, drawing ✏️, writing ✍️, or anything else, their passions are their anchor.
Sometimes passion isn’t just fun—it’s survival. It builds confidence, skills, and resilience to tackle everything else life throws at them.
Build Routines That Bend
Routine is comforting, but rigidity kills.
Craft a daily rhythm that’s predictable yet flexible. Visual schedules, alarms, phone reminders—give your teen ownership. Let them tweak it.
When life spins out, routines are the ground beneath their feet.
Be the Badass Advocate at School
School systems can be brutal. Get an IEP or 504 plan if your teen qualifies. Don’t wait—fight for their right to succeed. And let me tell you, they usually cringe when they see me coming now, because they know I won’t accept the status quo, and they’re actually going to have to work for it.
Involve your teen in meetings. They’re the expert in their own experience. Self-advocacy is a lifelong skill.
Prioritize Mental Health Like a Boss
Anxiety, depression—they often tag along. Don’t ignore it.
Explore therapy, journaling, meditation, or whatever clicks for your teen. Mental health isn’t one-size-fits-all, so keep searching and supporting.
Celebrate Every Damn Win
Survived a meltdown? Made it through a tough day? These are victories worth shouting about.
Don’t compare your teen’s path to others. Their journey is unique and deserves to be honored.
Closing Thoughts
Raising a neurodivergent teen isn’t easy—but it’s damn worth it. Your love, patience, and radical acceptance are the fuel that helps them thrive.
They’re not puzzles to solve—they’re whole humans to cherish.
Your Turn
Got tips, stories, or wins? Drop a comment and let’s build this badass community together.
And hey, if you found this helpful, share it. Because every parent and teen deserves to hear: you’ve got this.
Stay fierce, stay real,
Lisa M. Jordan ✨
🌟 More from me on Medium
☕ Support my work on Buy Me a Coffee
📰 Newsletter on Substack
📚 Facebook: LPWrites
Follow me on X @destinysintfree